The Bride Wore Pasties

Okay, she didn’t wear pasties, but she did wear those frilly undies that are burlesque-esque; the kind that look so cute, but then on make your ass really big, cause they’ve got all those frills.

Last night I went to a pole dancing class. Let me restate that, last night I had to go to a pole dancing class. A good friend of mine is getting married, and his bride-to-be does pole dancing classes once a week and thought it would be (sadistic) fun to make us pole dance. I don’t know how many of you actually know me, but I’m a group five dancer, and what I mean by that is… I kinda suck. In drama school I was always in the back of the room, with the boys, spinning into walls, so you invite me to a dance based class, and already I don’t like you much.

The first hour was warm up, stretching and a lot of touching ourselves to feel our bodies. There are no mirrors, which was a small blessing. It was like erotic ballet class. My friend Dana put it well, telling her husband that it was like Yoga with touching yourself, everything we hate. She’s almost as uncoordinated and graceless as I am, so…

And then the pole. I have to admit, it was kind of fun. Very little kid spinning around bars and such, and then you just throw on a character of, “you all want to fuck me as I walk around this pole.” I forgot to mention, the bride made us all tank tops with our “porn names” on them – your first pet’s name and the street you grew up on – mine’s Lucy 69. Could I be more Borscht Belt hooker??

Finally the bride danced for us. I’m uncomfortable now, the next morning, sitting in my living room. I never, ever needed to see that much of the bride’s ass, crotch, thighs. Ig. And of course being confronted with her sexuality makes me think about her with my friend and makes me consider his sexuality, and that’s another thing I never wanted to do.

And then we went for Mexican food.

Today, I am a little sore and have bruises from the pole.

You Ask for It, You Get It

Here’s the Rushmore piece:

And I also got this terrific Koo Koo the Bird Girl, from Freaks:

Join the Cult

If you’re in LA and you’re looking for something fun to do tomorrow night, Friday Aug 22, check out the opening at Gallery1988: Crazy4Cult2. It’s another group show at Gallery1988, featuring some of the LA scene’s best artists, all making art based on the theme of cult film. Last year I bought an amazing piece from Rushmore, and the opening was more like a party than an art show, and, if you care about that sort of thing, there will probably be celebs there.

Unfortunately I won’t make it this year. I have to go to a bachelor-ette party/pole dancing class. Right up my alley.

There was Trim Everywhere!

And you all know how I feel about trim.

I went to the Pasadena Bead fair today… kinda queer, I know, but inspiring at the same time. A lot of ticky-tacky, but also some really beautiful hand spun, hand died wools, interesting product, and as promised, lots of trim.

My favorite discovery is a company called French Basketeer. They sell imported, hand woven French Moroccan baskets, organic cotton mesh bags for veg storage (among other things), and gorgeous rolling woven shopping baskets. Super beautiful stuff.

I bought some lovely blue wool that I’ll make into a… shawl? scarf? we’ll see. It’s floaty and fuzzy, so something lacy in the end, I’m sure.

Came home and futzed around then went and started training at a new restaurant tonight. Collective gasp. Yes, after five years at the Dolce, I’m thinking about moving on. Nothing set yet, still there, but starting this week I’ll also be working at 8 oz, the lil’ sister to Table 8. It’s a delicious burger joint on Melrose between Stanley and Spaulding. After training tonight they fed me; I had a burger (amazing), chocolate malt (yum), and white truffled potato skins (excuse me? yeah, you heard me). I’m still full and happy. If this job works out I’ll be a chubby Schinders before long. If you’re in the neighborhood, come on in and have some meat… I mean, you could have a fish sandwich or the veggie burger if you have to, but man that’s good cow.

Would it be Inappropriate to Give You My Number?

Ever experience that moment when someone tells you they’ve broken up with their girlfriend (boyfriend), and you have to express sympathy, but you’re really considering their potential now that their single?

Books Books Books

We all love the internet – what’s not to love? – but I’m getting concerned that we (and I include myself) are becoming convenience junkies. The biggest danger is the only shopping. I’ve learned to control the ebay impulse – you think drunk dialing is bad, you should see some of the wacky drunk purchases I’ve made – but I have a real online book buying problem.

First of all, booksellers email me about sales and with coupons, because I buy books, so I feel like I’m saving rather than spending. Then, whatever book your looking for, in or out of print, you can pretty much find an affordable copy somewhere on line… unless you want a first edition copy of Gravity’s Rainbow in hb. And, when you’re shopping on line it feels like fake shopping, there’s no money, no slips get signed, but then books show up. Genius.

Here’s what I’ve bought in the past month – mostly on impulse:

Les Jeux Sont Faits by Sartre

New Moon by Stephanie Meyer

Absolute Sandman 3 by Neil Gaiman

A Tale of Time City (first ed) by Diana Wynne Jones – I’m slowly trying to collect her books first ed.

Widdershins, Dingo, and Memory & Dream by Charles De Lint

To name a few… Help! I need more book shelves.

Where in the World is Ellen Schinderman?

Man, have I been remiss, as to the blogging that is. So much change, so much anxiety, so much the same, ultimately. Phew. I just don’t do well with the uncertain moments. That said, here we are in August, summer’s just a’ flyin’ by. The supermarket is full of back-to-school supplies, and I’m feeling fall organize-y.

The fall always feels more like the New Year to me than January. Maybe it’s the Jewish Holidays, maybe it’s going back to school in September for so many years. Summer seems like the wind down of the year and I’m ready for the new one to start.

Anyway, I was inspired to get off my ass and blog, by some amazing pictures shared on Unusual Life. Jennifer Marsh, an artist, was tired of seeing a local, unused gas station, so she covered it in a quilted cozy. Amazing!