Happy 5769!

Just curious:  how come on Christmas, which isn’t even Christ’s birthday, the whole world grinds to a halt, but on Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the Jewish year, it’s business as usual?

Poor Bob McAllister

Sorry I haven’t written, not sick this time, just dismayed. This week’s been tough; boys are stupid.

But here’s a great 70’s video. I always feel badly for Bob McAllister; the old host of Wonderama and Kids Are People Too. He killed his own career. This isn’t over on Wikipedia, but I remember that he spent his own money to take out a full page ad in the Sunday Times, in the early 80’s, warning parents to be aware of what their kids were watching – this was well before Vchips or TV ratings, etc. Well, that was that for McAllister, his career petered out and he died in semi-obscurity. For caring. Bastard business. I want a mini Lender’s Bagel necklace!

Everybody Must Get Sued

In Hollywood, the sincerest form of flattery is theft.

Well, it looks like a project that my ex-writing partner and I created and contracted (the rights reverted back to us) is now being made by the network we had a contract with. Sigh. Gentlemen, start your lawyers.

Has anyone ever made it in “the biz” with out having a lawyer at some point say, “eh hem?”

Sick

I haven’t written for days, because I’m sick. I have some sort of flu. At this point (day 3) it’s turning cold-ey, I’m sneezey and blowy. Prior to now I have been achy and feverish. Feverish! I think the last time I had a fever was a spring break in Cancun when I got too much sun. My brain is swaddled in cotton wool…

Sick
by Shel Silverstein

“I cannot go to school today,”
Said little Peggy Anne McKay.
“I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash, and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I’m going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I’ve counted sixteen chicken pox
And there’s one more – that’s seventeen,
And don’t you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut, my eyes are blue -
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I’m sure that my left leg is broke-
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button’s caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle’s sprained,
My ‘pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb,
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow’s bent, my spine ain’t straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is – what?
What’s that? What’s that you say?
You say today is… Saturday?
G’bye, I’m going out to play!”

I wish I were faking. Sick like dog.

Bush’s Peace Of Mind

I’m all for peace in the Middle East, but can the media stop representing it like Bush is actually doing something?? We’re hosting the summit, that’s it. Bush’s idea of peace in the Middle East is the Romans out of Jerusalem. It’s an obvious last ditch effort to try and end his presidency on some sort of positive note. And those photos they keep showing, of Bush shaking hands with people he wouldn’t let date his daughters, and that shit eating grin…

On an off note, spotted Jeremy Piven at Kings Road Cafe, but it barely counts as a celeb-siting, it’s so common to see him in LA. He was sporting the Tom Ford look; I love when straight men emulate gay men.

Bee More Subtle

NBC has shoved Jerry Seinfeld’s Bee Movie so far down my throat, I’m ready to vomit. Daily Bee reports on ET, guest spots on shows, promos during ad breaks, the list goes on. I probably wouldn’t have seen the the damn thing anyway, but now I’ll Bee sure to miss it.

Follow up note: Viva Lauglin has been canceled after only two terrible episodes.

The Candy And The TV Are Better Over There

I’ll admit upfront that I’ve never seen Blackpool (renamed Viva Blackpool in the US), but it looks as if Viva Laughlin is another in a series of good British shows made into mediocre American ones. Couping, Hustle, and now this, from what I hear about the UK version (I plan on renting Viva Blackpool). I know, I know, you all love The Office… I still prefer the original.

Viva Laughlin was bad, and I wanted to like it despite early warnings. It’s musical, it’s got gambling, a great cast, yada yada yada. Even with all that going for it, bad show.

Ann Coulter Gives Me Agita!

Newsflash: Ann Coulter continues to be an asshole. I know I’m a few days behind on this, but Ann Coulter is just loathsome. Monday she was on The Big Idea with Donny Deutch, promoting her newest tome of hate. In the course of conversation she told him that America would be better if we were all Christian, that Jews need to be perfected, and that Christians are actually perfected Jews. The entire transcript can be read at FoxNews.com.

I wonder if she really believes all the shit she spews. Imagine if it were really just a character… ever notice that you never see Ann Coulter and Carson Kressley together… hmm. All I can say is that if Ann Coulter’s a “perfected Jew” for the first time in my proud Jewish life, I’d consider becoming a pagan, or maybe Ekankar… What do you think of Smithmania as a blog title?

Bands, Movies, and Peeves; Oh My!

For anyone who checked out Spoon yesterday, or already liked them, here’s a treat, Spoon is the musical guest tonight on SNL (Seth Rogan is the host). Set your dvrs. My prediction, they’ll do The Underdog and Don’t Make Me a Target, if we’re lucky they’ll do You got yr Cherry Bomb, but the other two will be welcome as well.