It’s only mid-November, but they’re plugging the Thanksgiving Day Parade, and I’m already seeing “Holiday” based advertising. Doesn’t it seem like it comes earlier and earlier each year? And only the Jewish calendar is lunar, so it really shouldn’t change.

Here’s some suggestions to help get you through the horror.

Run out and pick up a copy of S’no Balls by Rudy Casoni. It’s the dirty Xmas album Frank Sinatra never made, but should have.

Make and eat popcorn balls!

Rent Ebbie – the trashy mid-90’s TV movie starring Susan Lucci as a female Scrooge.  How did she not get an award for this??

Make a boa out of doubled over Holiday garland and wrap yourself in it – sure it’s a bit like wearing fiber glass, but everyone likes a little Xmas Ho Ho Ho.

And finally remember the best thing about the Holidays is… there’s trim everywhere (and then after the Holidays trim is 50% off).